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Rethinking New Year’s Resolutions: Start With Values, Not Willpowe
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6 January 2026

Rethinking New Year’s Resolutions: Start With Values, Not Willpowe

As the New Year approaches, many people feel pressure to set resolutions—exercise more, be more productive, eat better, feel happier. While well-intentioned, traditional resolutions often rely heavily on motivation and self-control. When life gets busy or emotions get in the way, these goals can quietly fall apart, leaving people feeling discouraged or self-critical.

A more effective and compassionate approach is to begin not with goals, but with values.

Why Values Matter More Than Resolutions

Values are not targets to tick off; they are guiding principles that shape how you want to live your life. Unlike goals, values are ongoing and flexible. You don’t “fail” at a value—you return to it.

Examples of values include:

  • Connection
  • Health
  • Growth
  • Balance
  • Kindness
  • Integrity
  • Family
  • Learning

When goals are grounded in values, they tend to feel more meaningful and sustainable. They also give you something steady to return to when motivation dips.

Step One: Clarify Your Core Values

Instead of asking “What should I change about myself this year?”, try asking:

  • What kind of person do I want to be this year?
  • What matters most to me right now—not in theory, but in this season of my life?
  • When I look back on this year, what do I want to feel proud of?

Choose 3–5 core values only. Fewer values create clarity and reduce overwhelm.

For example:

  • If you value connection, that might guide how you approach relationships.
  • If you value health, that may influence how you care for your body and mind.
  • If you value balance, it may shape how you manage work, rest, and boundaries.

Step Two: Set a Small Number of Value-Aligned Goals

Once your values are clear, you can set a small number of achievable goals that express those values in daily life.

Rather than:

“I will exercise five times a week.”

Try:

“I value health, so I will move my body in a way that feels manageable most weeks.”

Rather than:

“I will be more organised.”

Try:

“I value calm and balance, so I will spend 10 minutes at the end of the day preparing for tomorrow.”

Helpful guidelines:

  • Limit yourself to 1–3 goals per value
  • Make goals specific but flexible
  • Focus on direction, not perfection

Goals should support your life—not compete with it.

Step Three: Expect Breaks, Not Failure

One of the most common reasons people abandon goals is the belief that losing momentum equals failure. In reality, this belief is what derails progress.

Life happens. Holidays, illness, stress, emotional dips, or busy periods can interrupt even the best intentions. Missing a week—or even a month—does not mean the goal is no longer valid.

A helpful reframe:

Progress is not a straight line; it’s a series of returns.

What matters is not consistency without interruption, but your ability to gently return to what matters when you notice you’ve drifted.

Ask yourself:

  • What value does this goal serve?
  • What is the smallest step I could take today to reconnect with that value?

Even a small action is a meaningful return.

Step Four: Practice Self-Compassion Along the Way

Values-based goals work best when paired with self-compassion. Criticism and pressure tend to increase avoidance, while kindness increases engagement and persistence.

If you notice self-judging thoughts like:

  • “I’ve failed already.”
  • “What’s the point now?”
  • “I never stick to anything.”

Try responding with:

  • “This is a hard season.”
  • “I can start again today.”
  • “Returning matters more than restarting perfectly.”

This mindset supports emotional wellbeing and long-term change.

A Different Way to Measure Success

At the end of the year, instead of asking:

Did I stick to my resolutions?

Try asking:

Did I keep returning to what matters to me?

When goals are anchored in values, success is measured not by perfection, but by alignment—how often you came back to living in a way that felt meaningful.

Lastly

The New Year doesn’t require a complete reinvention. Often, meaningful change begins with clarity, gentleness, and a willingness to return—again and again—to what matters most.

If you’re finding it hard to clarify values, set achievable goals, or stay emotionally regulated when motivation drops, working with a psychologist can help provide structure, insight, and support.

At Mindright, we support individuals to build sustainable change grounded in values, self-compassion, and psychological wellbeing.